As the flowers fade...

My life as a full time student and a full time teacher has been a tremendous time of adjustment. I had to give myself grace in the beginning to adjust and process all of the changes, and I am finding how much more grace I have to receive just to make it through. I am beyond thrilled to finally be pursuing my BA in Human Development, a dream I have had for a while. The door kept closing previously, but this time His perfect timing opened just the right door. As a teacher I must keep up with everything that is expected of me, turn my documentations, curriculum, newsletter articles and portfolio pages in on time, make sure that the children are coming first and that my conversations and connections with the parents of the children in my group continue strong. As well as preparing for parent teacher conferences at the end of this month. I have been pleasantly surprised by those who have been so supportive and encouraging through this process. Of course my husband has been the MOST influences person in this role (whom I wasn't surprised by, I knew how amazing he would be), he has taken on ALL house chores as well as being my emotional support, helping proof papers for me and continuing to have great communication. But certain co-workers and friends have reached out in ways that have given me that extra affirmation to continue strongly. A few of my close friends have been there consistently, during the times I often felt like I couldn't see the end in sight, lifting me up with scripture and prayer. My family, though far away, have continued to not only point out he areas I need to grow in through this process, but have given me an endless supply of encouragement, I don't think my parents have ever been this proud of me. I am blessed to be getting this support. And family that is close has helped with family that is far. Words of affirmation go a l o n g way. As a student, I have discovered a whole new meaning of perseverance. There are times of frustration, discouragement, exhaustion on a whole new level (imagine having to think critically while being exhausted), and not enough free time. While pursuing these courses in Human Development, I am required to go back to my own childhood and adolescence to recall the experiences, painful or not, and bring many theories and philosophies into perspective so far. The passion I have in this field has only become stronger and I am discovering things that I am just too excited about to not pass along. It has been difficult to balance it all. I often find myself needed to cry just to release ALL of the pressure. The only explanation of how I am able to do ANY of this, is purely by the grace of God. He is carrying me through, and will continue to until the end. I'm finding how vital it is to be more intentional about my priorities. Putting my time with Jesus first, even if I am behind with school work, or work. And then putting my marriage second. Being at a new church and finding the new life group that Mani and I have found has been critical. Even though there really isn't another night a week I can spare to go to a life group, it is a must. As we invest INTENTIONAL time with God and each other, He will make the rest fall into place. He honors our sacrifices. Though this busy life could entangle me with it's less meaningful duties, I focus my eyes on the one who created life and more desperately seek His grace and love to cover this restless soul in hopes of reflecting His glory for others to k n o w his love. With sacrifice there is always a price. Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.

love

I'm not sure who this is by, or if I even wrote it. Found it in my notes and it spoke. I don't have the words to articulate the way you let me drown in your never ending grace how my crimes are covered and washed away in blood There is nothing in me conditioning you to make you love I cant attract, impress or try to win your heart but you give it all your love still goes on to make an atonement your love is infinite and unconditional nothing can separate us cause now I live in you there is no amount that can calculate your divine love its so much that Christ was given to die for us Its stronger than death, deeper than the ocean bigger than the night sky the earth could never hold it and its not impulsive, its holy and pure its not a weakness or soft its sharp as a sword.

perspective and grace

Just some thoughts on p e r s p e c t i v e: consider other's perspectives. Thinking of this, imagining where they are coming from, what might be intriguing their actions or thoughts, or even their conclusions. Put yourself in their shoes and listen as they tell their story. This tends to lead us to come to our own conclusions of our own perspective in a peculiar way. If one's perspective is not considered, how do we expect to grow or understand others? Listening is often difficult. Listening to children I believe is the strongest form of perspective in itself. And some more on g r a c e: There is something inside of every human being that cries out for meaning. The deepest need for satisfaction. Forgetting what others have said, done or presented all together. Find your connection and seek out the most overwhelming sense of fulfillment in the Presence of God himself. He will take you there. His love is furious, unconditional and his grace will release abundant favor into your spirit, if you let him.

Identity

In the secret place, lies are demolished by truth, doubts are replaced with promises, earthly tendencies are forfeited for heavenly aspirations. For it is in HIs glory, the weight of His glory, that we find ourselves fully complete, left without any insecurities and beconned to live freely in the identity that He created, knows and desires for us to embrace, so that all the false realities and bondage may be striped away, only to find the purest of reflections encountered by Him. In his throne room, we meet our maker, and get to love who we are just as much as He loves us, just the way we are. His grace sets us free, making our awareness of imperfections a revelation of our great need for a savior. May we always allow His presence to carry us from Glory to Glory.

dream dreams of grace.

I sometimes think of where I've been, where I am, and where I'll be. And in those moments I dream of what might be. Instead of thinking what WILL be. Too often the devils subtle lies become a way of diminishing truth, fighting it, and making the dreams seem selfish and dishonorable to God. Those lies. They are lies, and O N L Y lies. So I try again, redeem myself with g r a c e and dream dreams of grace. And when I do, those dreams push me through the current state of where I am, they inspire me past the challenges of where I am and move me to a place of inspiration and passion, peace and fascination of who H E is and where I'll be because of Him. He created us for Him, yet we find so much fulfillment, passion and purpose when become who He created us to be. For Him and through Him, we are found.

Fight for those who can't fight for themselves.

When the vision God has placed on your heart has come into existence, nothing is more beautiful than seeing the people you have been fighting for have and encounter with God and experience His love for them.

till paradise

Today I grieve, for the first time of someone so dear to me, the absence of my Gramie. She was more than just my Gramie, she was a survivor of breast cancer, open heart surgeries and many other illnesses. She was one of my hero's, for her faith was childlike and her spirit knew Jesus in an intimate way. It was the times we had together that I cherish most, her smile was contagious and her words of wisdom sunk deep. Through every illness she never doubted God's protection over her life. Her favorite poem was that of "Footprints in the Sand". He carried her through it all and today He carried her to paradise. I feel as if time has stood still now, and all I can think upon is her legacy. I hold onto the memories I have with her and though her absence pains me, I rejoice in my grief because I know she is in the arms of her savior, no hint of pain remains and she has seen the weight of Glory revealed. She is finally at the foot of His throne seeing Him face to face in all His Glory and Wonder. I await the day I will see her again, not in pain and suffering, but in peace and Glory in the paradise we all long for. For she has finally met her savior and she waits to see us all again in paradise.

Goodbye for now Gramie,

Till we meet again,
in paradise.

xo

"The odd thing is that her death has made my faith strong than it was a week ago. And I find that all that talk about "feeling that she is closer to us than before" isn't just talk. It's just what is does feel like-I can't put it into words. One seems at moments to be living in a new world. Lots, lots of pain, but not a particle of depression or resentment." CS Lewis


Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints,
so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
my child, is when I carried you.”



"You deserve a Halo" precious moments were her favorite, she collected them all.

Ecclesiates 3:4
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;

Psalm 119:50
This is my comfort in my affliction,For Your word has given me life.

2 Thessalonians 3:16
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all.