As the flowers fade...

My life as a full time student and a full time teacher has been a tremendous time of adjustment. I had to give myself grace in the beginning to adjust and process all of the changes, and I am finding how much more grace I have to receive just to make it through. I am beyond thrilled to finally be pursuing my BA in Human Development, a dream I have had for a while. The door kept closing previously, but this time His perfect timing opened just the right door. As a teacher I must keep up with everything that is expected of me, turn my documentations, curriculum, newsletter articles and portfolio pages in on time, make sure that the children are coming first and that my conversations and connections with the parents of the children in my group continue strong. As well as preparing for parent teacher conferences at the end of this month. I have been pleasantly surprised by those who have been so supportive and encouraging through this process. Of course my husband has been the MOST influences person in this role (whom I wasn't surprised by, I knew how amazing he would be), he has taken on ALL house chores as well as being my emotional support, helping proof papers for me and continuing to have great communication. But certain co-workers and friends have reached out in ways that have given me that extra affirmation to continue strongly. A few of my close friends have been there consistently, during the times I often felt like I couldn't see the end in sight, lifting me up with scripture and prayer. My family, though far away, have continued to not only point out he areas I need to grow in through this process, but have given me an endless supply of encouragement, I don't think my parents have ever been this proud of me. I am blessed to be getting this support. And family that is close has helped with family that is far. Words of affirmation go a l o n g way. As a student, I have discovered a whole new meaning of perseverance. There are times of frustration, discouragement, exhaustion on a whole new level (imagine having to think critically while being exhausted), and not enough free time. While pursuing these courses in Human Development, I am required to go back to my own childhood and adolescence to recall the experiences, painful or not, and bring many theories and philosophies into perspective so far. The passion I have in this field has only become stronger and I am discovering things that I am just too excited about to not pass along. It has been difficult to balance it all. I often find myself needed to cry just to release ALL of the pressure. The only explanation of how I am able to do ANY of this, is purely by the grace of God. He is carrying me through, and will continue to until the end. I'm finding how vital it is to be more intentional about my priorities. Putting my time with Jesus first, even if I am behind with school work, or work. And then putting my marriage second. Being at a new church and finding the new life group that Mani and I have found has been critical. Even though there really isn't another night a week I can spare to go to a life group, it is a must. As we invest INTENTIONAL time with God and each other, He will make the rest fall into place. He honors our sacrifices. Though this busy life could entangle me with it's less meaningful duties, I focus my eyes on the one who created life and more desperately seek His grace and love to cover this restless soul in hopes of reflecting His glory for others to k n o w his love. With sacrifice there is always a price. Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.

love

I'm not sure who this is by, or if I even wrote it. Found it in my notes and it spoke. I don't have the words to articulate the way you let me drown in your never ending grace how my crimes are covered and washed away in blood There is nothing in me conditioning you to make you love I cant attract, impress or try to win your heart but you give it all your love still goes on to make an atonement your love is infinite and unconditional nothing can separate us cause now I live in you there is no amount that can calculate your divine love its so much that Christ was given to die for us Its stronger than death, deeper than the ocean bigger than the night sky the earth could never hold it and its not impulsive, its holy and pure its not a weakness or soft its sharp as a sword.

perspective and grace

Just some thoughts on p e r s p e c t i v e: consider other's perspectives. Thinking of this, imagining where they are coming from, what might be intriguing their actions or thoughts, or even their conclusions. Put yourself in their shoes and listen as they tell their story. This tends to lead us to come to our own conclusions of our own perspective in a peculiar way. If one's perspective is not considered, how do we expect to grow or understand others? Listening is often difficult. Listening to children I believe is the strongest form of perspective in itself. And some more on g r a c e: There is something inside of every human being that cries out for meaning. The deepest need for satisfaction. Forgetting what others have said, done or presented all together. Find your connection and seek out the most overwhelming sense of fulfillment in the Presence of God himself. He will take you there. His love is furious, unconditional and his grace will release abundant favor into your spirit, if you let him.

Identity

In the secret place, lies are demolished by truth, doubts are replaced with promises, earthly tendencies are forfeited for heavenly aspirations. For it is in HIs glory, the weight of His glory, that we find ourselves fully complete, left without any insecurities and beconned to live freely in the identity that He created, knows and desires for us to embrace, so that all the false realities and bondage may be striped away, only to find the purest of reflections encountered by Him. In his throne room, we meet our maker, and get to love who we are just as much as He loves us, just the way we are. His grace sets us free, making our awareness of imperfections a revelation of our great need for a savior. May we always allow His presence to carry us from Glory to Glory.

dream dreams of grace.

I sometimes think of where I've been, where I am, and where I'll be. And in those moments I dream of what might be. Instead of thinking what WILL be. Too often the devils subtle lies become a way of diminishing truth, fighting it, and making the dreams seem selfish and dishonorable to God. Those lies. They are lies, and O N L Y lies. So I try again, redeem myself with g r a c e and dream dreams of grace. And when I do, those dreams push me through the current state of where I am, they inspire me past the challenges of where I am and move me to a place of inspiration and passion, peace and fascination of who H E is and where I'll be because of Him. He created us for Him, yet we find so much fulfillment, passion and purpose when become who He created us to be. For Him and through Him, we are found.

Fight for those who can't fight for themselves.

When the vision God has placed on your heart has come into existence, nothing is more beautiful than seeing the people you have been fighting for have and encounter with God and experience His love for them.

till paradise

Today I grieve, for the first time of someone so dear to me, the absence of my Gramie. She was more than just my Gramie, she was a survivor of breast cancer, open heart surgeries and many other illnesses. She was one of my hero's, for her faith was childlike and her spirit knew Jesus in an intimate way. It was the times we had together that I cherish most, her smile was contagious and her words of wisdom sunk deep. Through every illness she never doubted God's protection over her life. Her favorite poem was that of "Footprints in the Sand". He carried her through it all and today He carried her to paradise. I feel as if time has stood still now, and all I can think upon is her legacy. I hold onto the memories I have with her and though her absence pains me, I rejoice in my grief because I know she is in the arms of her savior, no hint of pain remains and she has seen the weight of Glory revealed. She is finally at the foot of His throne seeing Him face to face in all His Glory and Wonder. I await the day I will see her again, not in pain and suffering, but in peace and Glory in the paradise we all long for. For she has finally met her savior and she waits to see us all again in paradise.

Goodbye for now Gramie,

Till we meet again,
in paradise.

xo

"The odd thing is that her death has made my faith strong than it was a week ago. And I find that all that talk about "feeling that she is closer to us than before" isn't just talk. It's just what is does feel like-I can't put it into words. One seems at moments to be living in a new world. Lots, lots of pain, but not a particle of depression or resentment." CS Lewis


Footprints in the Sand
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints,
so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
my child, is when I carried you.”



"You deserve a Halo" precious moments were her favorite, she collected them all.

Ecclesiates 3:4
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;

Psalm 119:50
This is my comfort in my affliction,For Your word has given me life.

2 Thessalonians 3:16
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you his peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all.

little world

sometimes i dream about the little world i want to create for my children.

and i think it will look something like this...

poems and rhythms, neutral and changing.
a space where their imaginations will create
the color, objects and characters.
a rich environment of exploration
and adventure at it's peak.
walls portraying the depths of their
ideas and spaces including their creatively
moving selves. painting each pathway as they
go, leaving behind messages of the journey
they wrote each day. this is no ordinary place.
its a destiny of magical appearances. nature
and imagination at it's best. fairytales and
folktales grace the shelves of books never ending.
they can only go as far as I allow.
what they are not exposed to becomes a world unknown.
so daring, I expose them to a limitless array of hope which
will carry their dreams beyond their imagination.

in the secret.

In the midst of my emotionally drained array I am eager with passion to create even more awareness of play for children and the lack of recognition in their developmental milestones. I am going on 13 hours of overtime and a day full of parent meetings, developmental portfolio's and conference profiles. It is unbelievable to me how little parents educate themselves on these days and how they have no clue that a dr and most teachers won't recognize if their child is on the autism spectrum or has developmental delays. I am Thankful and owe Jesus the credit for the ability to get through days like today and live them to the fullest.

In the secret of Your presence I know there I am restored. When You call I won't refuse.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A glimpse of lately

Such a time as this...

Leaving 2010 with more love for my husband than ever, great humility in all the trials God has brought us through together, a better understanding of the man I married for his character proved strong through the most difficulty, loyalty and love proven in friendships, a job that not only changed my world but is giving me a new profound way of raising my children, glimpses of eternity that strike the deepest cord in a being to long for that which he was made for in a greater way. Forgiveness on a whole new level... For those who forgive understand Gods love for them so much that the hurt another person caused them would not effect them, for they understand the forgiveness paid for them. A heart longing to be close to my family yet trusting Gods place for me and knowing He knows that desire and is near in times that are difficult. Accepting that He called me for something greater than myself, even if that means abandoning things not as worthy and sacrificing worldliness for someone who paid it all for me to h a v e life, life more abundantly. Living for what you were created for is not an easy path, it's finding He who is greater and letting Him carry you to places some long for but never take up their cross to follow. Stepping out of the normal perspectives and following One that is beyond normal thinking and living. It is know your identity, never wavering in it and knowing how the Almighty sees you, feels about you and desires all of you. He called me Mine, and i am His beloved... I was made for such a time as this...

There is only so much one can handle at a time. With teaching, I didn't think I would be able to balance it all... But I've found myself at a place where I can. Yet there are those days that you are just trying to keep your classroom in order in the midst of multiple different challenges with children, you pause, and start to doubt your abilities and wonder if you have been doing it the right way all along. I find in these times that it is only healthy and simply a vital reflection time that is necessary to go to that next level as a teacher. To examine yourself and the way you run the classroom. If this process fails to happen, then you will find yourself stagnant, at a place where you need challenge and change for growth to occur.

Here is a glimpse of what this balance entails...

While in the classroom, a teacher must:

Make sure everyone is safe at all times
Know who and how many are in the classroom
Give one on one facilitation for conflict resolution and problem solving
Depending on what center your in at the time- serve snack (not a simple packaged one, but a full on home made from scratch healthy snack that the children help make) watch all doors, refill supplies like paint, help children who have accidents, water the gardens if your outside, and a number of other things.
Problem solve when one child hurts another
Keep consistency and flow of children coming in and out of the room
Greet parents
Check in with parents
Facilitate the Childrens play, ask open ended questions, make your perspective their own so that you can see through their eyes, help them engage in activities if they are distracted, listen as they tell you stories, comfort the ones who are sad
Disengage in power struggles as children will try to test your limits at different stages, as they explore anatomy.
Read stories
Follow through with children who have not cleaned up
Be aware of each child and how they normally are to prevent unseen sickness which can cause them to act out
Observe the children to track their development and emerging skills
Write up incident reports for the ones who get hurt
Never loose sight of the passion which causes you to guide their discoveries
Be aware of their abilities to challenge them but not to give them something they cannot achieve which will cause discouragement
They list may go on... That is all I can think of for now!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

babies

Magda Gerber... her philosophy changed my perspective on babies. It is incredible and I will be following it when I have babies! If you have a baby or are pregnant... look into her books!



http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSHicQMmi0Q9BkTWlEcarzLnqQ5Qq7drmbpSWUHUmpizjW46lqPBg


http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRCQIFHpwaC8e_ZUkqAVcEdM3fkdI-y9rBbez9w_FRIC2j3KD8B

http://www.rie.org/

skin

http://tbafblog.com/2010/11/great-skin-you-now-have-a-choice/

the importance of play

I went to a seminar by Eric Hoffman, author, professor and former teacher who spoke about the importance of play. It was so inspiring and brought so much to light about Children! Here are the notes...

Young children use pay to explore important questions about themselves and the world around them. It is their way of "thinking out loud." At first, these questions are basic: Who will take care of me? How does my body work? How can i learn about the people and things around me? As their brains develop and they gain more knowledge and control, their questions become increasingly complex. Observing play can help us understand what questions a child is asking and guide us to curriculum that provides positive answers.

CHILDREN TRY TO UNDERSTAND THEIR WORLD BY:
-observing adults, peers, and media characters
-imitating what they observe
-testing the limits of themselves, their environment, and important adults (children test our language to see if we are going to do what we say).
-asking questions
-creating ever-changing theories about how things work (they come up with grand ideas to understand things. If you give them info. it will change their idea. They are figuring out how the world works. Their ideas are not logical).
-expressing ideas through language, art, music and motion
-and most importantly---through PLAY! (through play they invest in the world. Play is fun for adults, NOT always for children. They make their ideas real in the world and that can be scary. If they are afraid of something they tend to turn it into something... for example: if they are afraid of a person place of thing they will call it a monster. They can can imagine future and past. Children will take bits of information and play it out, for example, draw or build. They are trying to figure out how the world works and how people work.)

PRESCHOOLERS PLAY SO THEY CAN:
-explore emotions by:
-learning to identify feelings
-developing new ways to express feelings

-explore social relationships by:
-forging new connections with adults
-investigating friendships with peers
-studying power, control and autonomy, and learning how to balance the desire for power with the need for relationship

-explore their intellectual abilities by:
-expanding knowledge of the world outside the family
-developing a self identity
-looking for predictable patterns
-trying out "big ideas"
-asking "big questions" such as:
what is right and what is wrong? what is good and what is bad?
what is fair and what is unfair?
what is life and what is death?
what is a boy and what is a girl?
what is real and what is fantasy?
what does it mean to be a grownup?
(they are trying to figure out who's in charge, and who is a friend. 5-6 year olds can have more than 1 friend, you can play with so in so and still be my friend but if they are younger, they can only understand what it means to have one friend, they think if they have one friend they can't have another and if someone else trys to be friends with their friend it means they don't have that friend anymore. Giving them examples such as "I am friends with Jack, Sally and Amy but sometimes I only play with Amy and Jack and sometimes Sally just plays with Amy.)

-Children will hit another child because they have a toy they want and if it worked and they got the toy, they will do it again because it worked for them. Children aren't good at having different categories in their life.

-Children think if they use their imaginations to say what this is it will really hurt their feelings.

-It's hard for them explore ideas they have with out being about to play it out with other children.

-Children don't speak their ideas (such as things about death, good and bad)

-Separating their actions from who they are doesn't make sense to them (you can narrate for them by saying "it looks like you really want to play with ___." when they express actions that look like they want to play with another child but may be harmful.) They explore their feelings by doing things, for example, if one child, lets call him Kyle is building blocks, and another child named John is watching and thinking of how he really wants to play with Kyle, but instead of saying I want to play with you he runs over and knocks Kyle's blocks over because he has already in his mind imagined him asking Kyle if he could play and Kyle rejected him and said no.

-Sometimes they are fighting over a truck when they are really fighting with each other, they just can't express it in words. That's why we must facilitate and narrate for them what their feelings are.

-We have to narrate, speak and defend for them. With out adults calling out their threats (i'm not going to let you threaten her to be the "baby", find something both children agree on and then they can play that. If the child that is being called the baby is ok being called a kitty and the other child calling her the baby is ok calling her the kitty, then they have resolved it and can play in peace.) If it is an older child calling a younger child the baby you can tell the older child "this person needs my help right now, you don't need my help right now."

-give children real examples to narrate their play, actions and feelings.

-books with real people and genders playing different roles (like a woman being a firefighter) can help them figure out their world and feelings.

-Children will give up their ideas to be accepted by their peer groups.

-If you make your child fearful (not letting them do things that may have some danger in it) they will never build the skills in that area.




-explore their physical abilities to
-test physical limits
-practicing new physical skills

wonderland.

I cannot remember a time where my imagination was more vivid than as a child. Remembering those times bring me alive in a way nothing else can. Ultimately our creativity comes from the expressions of what we imagine. When our passions are ignited, through inspiration, our imaginations can take us to places none have gone before, there is always something more to find... it's never ending.

Too often a child's imagination is squelched, due to the media and commercial based obsessed culture that entertains children with toys and tv, which only give them a product without allowing them to use their creativity and imagination to grow, learn and develop. Ultimately, we will have adults who no longer posses any imagination or creativity, only the lack there of. We are taking away their right to develop, be themselves, and function fully as the human being God created them to be. Their individuality will be stricken with similarity of those around them due to the product commercialism creates. I am desperate to change that which has stolen the very thing that allows them to be children.

As a child you can imagine almost anything. A tree could be a castle, a bike could be a purple flying dragon. Now we have child sized castles and toy flying dragons. This only stops children's ability to imagine, it does it for them, and therefore that part of them doesn't fully develop... and all the things that come along with it like role playing, figuring out the world around them through play, exploration and exploration... gone.

we love eachother, more than the stars.

we love to decorate together
spend time going to random places
i've learned to love japan like he does, but maybe not quite as much :)
he makes me laugh more than anyone
he laughs at my shopping justifications, and i somehow end up laughing too
we love linus and keiko
he likes hearing what I have to say about child development
and listens to me go on and on about it :)
he understands my passion, and brings me back to reality when i get too passionate about it
he tells me how i sleep talk at night and say the funniest things
we want to travel, and then have a family
he defends me and helps me find correction when i'm wrong
he helps me let go of my to do list and find moments to laugh and relax
he comforts me when i cry
he shares my dreams and dreams them with me
he doesn't let the hard times in life affect our love
he knows a lot about Jesus, and i love learning from him


he is my bestest of friends
i belong to him
he thinks i'm the most beautiful one in the world
he knows me and loves me even with my flaws
he inspires me everyday
and i tell him everything
he is my f a v o r i t e.

love that covers unfair pain

Surrender produces a Father who makes our failures something good. His grace is enough to cover our failures. Such a perfect picture of His love... He doesn't want us to feel condemned, He desires for us to know His g o o d n e s s.

That is love. When we know His love for us, we can love even those who hurt us.

a glimpse of my passion...

Ever since I finished my Child Development degree last year I have formed such a deep passion. A passion which seems to maybe go to far at times, because I feel for those who have children and don't understand where they are, or what they lack in their environment to help them progress developmentally. At times I think about how I didn't plan on becoming a teacher and how I would have gone into having my own children, not knowing much of anything about them developmentally and how I would have held them back for my lack of knowledge. I'm not saying I needed to be a teacher to give them all they needed, I'm just saying I believe it's important that parents understand child development. The first 5 years of a child's life are the most important, and the way we teachers/parents introduce them to learning/school will effect them for the rest of their lives. It will either put a bad taste in their mouth, or a good one. We can set them up for a successful future of learning and a healthy desire to learn.

Asking children "open-ended" questions helps them hypothesis. Instead of telling a child things you know, ask them what they think.. it causes them to develop cognitively by hypothesizing. For example: instead of saying "when you put that large block on top of that small block it will fall" say "what do you think will happen when you put that large block on the small block?" and let them experiment with it and see what happens. It may take them a couple of tries and trying out other blocks, but they will soon see what happens. That knowledge can't be told, it can only be experienced on their own.

There are some misconceptions about Play Based Schools.. here is one:

Children just play and don't do any academics: NOT true... actually it is opposite. Children know how to do one thing best... play. Children are learning about the world around them, and they figure it out by playing. In a play based school, we allow the children to do what they know best, and provide the right materials for them to have hands one experiences through their play which essentially is hands on academics. You might think that children playing in a huge sand box isn't beneficial for them, I hope I can change your mind... when a child plays in the sand they are learning cause and effect when they pour water on the sand and try to create something as opposed to creating something when the sand is dry. They have a sensory experience as the sand sits in between their toes and falls through their fingers. Depending on what items are in the sand, they can experience many different things from creativity, imagination, gross motor skills, fine motor skills, making connections cognitively, and many more. If there are other children in the sand with them, they can learn social and emotional skills with a teacher close by to guide them into problem solving. There are different steps of play which determines where a child is developmentally, and each step requires a child to be around other children as the child learns social skills. The most important stages of a child's development are communication/language/literacy, social emotional development, exploration/approaches to learning, purposeful motor activity, cognitive development and sensory organization.


One of my favorite places to visit is BING Nursery school at Standford University.
http://www.stanford.edu/dept/bingschool/
This place created at SU as a research institute, following the motto that children do one thing best... play. The only children allowed in the school are ones of professors at the college. Now if that isn't legit enough for you.. I don't know what is! When i visited BING, I was amazed.. it is almost exactly like the school I work at... and the environment just inspires me creatively!


Something that kindergarten teachers have said is that they are looking for preschoolers who enter kindergarten socially and emotionally ready. If a child is not socially and emotionally able to cope, they will not be able to handle the learning aspect of preschool, they will only fall behind. At the school I teach at, we help the children problem solve all day long. It is so important to teach children problem solving skills, which will set them up for success for the rest of their life.

I could go on about this forever!

It is most inspiring and intriguing when a child allows us adults to step into their perspective... unfortunately, us adults take advantage of it and too often make the child step into ours, when they are no where close to ready. But when we take a moment to see into their world, we find more creativity, understanding and inspiration than one could hold. When we see the world through their perspective, we can understand them better and help them get to a place of understanding life and this world in their own unique way.

some of my favorites.

"Human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and can't really get rid of it."

--The Case for Christianity

"Reality, in fact, is always something you couldn't have guessed. That's one of the reasons I believe Christianity. It's a religion you couldn't have guessed."

--The Case for Christianity

"The Moral Law tells us the tune we have to play: our instincts are merely the keys..."

--Mere Christianity

"When humans should have become as perfect in voluntary obedience as the inanimate creation is in its lifeless obedience, then they will put on its glory, or rather that greater glory of which Nature is only the first sketch."

--The Weight of Glory

"As long as this deliberate refusal to understand things from above, even where such understanding is possible, continues, it is idle to talk of any final victory over materialism."

--The Weight of Glory

"We live, in fact, in a world starved for solitude, silence, and private: and therefore starved for meditation and true friendship."

--The Weight of Glory

And so I leave you with this;

"You and I have need of the strongest spell that can be found to wake us from the evil enchantment of worldliness."

--The Weight of Glory